Guidance and Counseling for Kids
Don't Forget How I Feel!
Sometimes a kid's feelings surprise or scare him. Sometimes kids have big hurts inside. Sometimes they feel mad, or scared, or sad, or happy. Normally, a child's emotional vocabulary is developmentally slower. It is difficult for kids to explain just how they are feeling. Carla uses a wide variety of games, art, music, and play to foster a child's emotional expressions. Using a family systems approach, Carla often includes the parent(s) or guardian(s) in therapy sessions. As the child begins to develop the tools she needs for a particular problem, the adults in their lives are learning, also, in order to maintain and continue to build upon the work of each session. How Do I Know If My Child Needs Counseling?
Signs that a child might need professional help:
*Long periods of sadness
The child may seem to be sad for several days or weeks, and no distraction or entertainment seems to make him feel better. Children are usually not able to explain what is making them sad, but they will show it through their play and through their actions.
*No talking of major life changes
The child may not address the major changes, but will ignore them and only speak of events in the past, such as when their loved one was alive, Mom and Dad were not separated or divorced, or when the family lived in the old house and had not moved. This behavior is normal right after the event, but the child should be able to move on and talk about the present.
*Withdrawn behavior
Withdrawn children have little to no interest in the things around them. They want to be by themselves rather than being with other children or adults. They rarely laugh, joke, or enjoy anything they are doing.
*Problems separating from parents
The child may experience separation anxiety when leaving a parent, especially if something has happened to separate the child from both parents (death, divorce, deployment, etc.)
*Cannot concentrate
Most children are distracted after a major life transition or loss. They may not be able to settle on any play activities or appear able to complete any task given to them. They may not be able to follow instructions, especially if given more than one direction at a time.
*Regressive behaviors
If a child returns to behaviors he has previously mastered, exhibiting younger behaviors, such as wetting or soiling his clothes or the bed, sucking his thumb, or wanting to be carried everywhere, these are all indications that the child is experiencing a problem.
*Feeling a sense of responsibility or guilt
Children often believe the events in their live are caused by them. They may believe a death, sickness, or divorce is their fault. In the case of a divorce, the child often feels caught between the two parents.
*Feeling angry
Some children feel angry most of the time. They are often the ones who get into fights during recess or in their daycare. Hitting, biting, and shouting are common ways children show anger. The sibling rivalry may be intense, as well as taking their anger out on the adults responsible for them. Some children revert back to temper tantrums with kicking and screaming. They may say no to everything they are asked to do. Even the small problems or difficulties seem to be huge.
*Feeling anxious or worried
Some children are just natural worriers, while for others it is a definite change in their behavior. They may worry about performance at school, particularly before test. They worry whether or not they will have any friends, who might die next, when the next move will be, or if their parents are getting a divorce. Logical reasoning does little, if any, to alleviate the worries or anxiety of these children.
Many children have these feelings or do these things described above at times. If the problems begin shortly after a life transition or loss, or other stressful events, the child may need extra help. Getting help is important if the signs or symptoms you normally see in your child are more extreme or intense. If the issues last day after day, or week after week, with seemingly little improvement, professional help is probably needed. If you have tried to work with your child, but the problems continue, it would be wise to pursue professional help.
Signs that a child might need professional help:
*Long periods of sadness
The child may seem to be sad for several days or weeks, and no distraction or entertainment seems to make him feel better. Children are usually not able to explain what is making them sad, but they will show it through their play and through their actions.
*No talking of major life changes
The child may not address the major changes, but will ignore them and only speak of events in the past, such as when their loved one was alive, Mom and Dad were not separated or divorced, or when the family lived in the old house and had not moved. This behavior is normal right after the event, but the child should be able to move on and talk about the present.
*Withdrawn behavior
Withdrawn children have little to no interest in the things around them. They want to be by themselves rather than being with other children or adults. They rarely laugh, joke, or enjoy anything they are doing.
*Problems separating from parents
The child may experience separation anxiety when leaving a parent, especially if something has happened to separate the child from both parents (death, divorce, deployment, etc.)
*Cannot concentrate
Most children are distracted after a major life transition or loss. They may not be able to settle on any play activities or appear able to complete any task given to them. They may not be able to follow instructions, especially if given more than one direction at a time.
*Regressive behaviors
If a child returns to behaviors he has previously mastered, exhibiting younger behaviors, such as wetting or soiling his clothes or the bed, sucking his thumb, or wanting to be carried everywhere, these are all indications that the child is experiencing a problem.
*Feeling a sense of responsibility or guilt
Children often believe the events in their live are caused by them. They may believe a death, sickness, or divorce is their fault. In the case of a divorce, the child often feels caught between the two parents.
*Feeling angry
Some children feel angry most of the time. They are often the ones who get into fights during recess or in their daycare. Hitting, biting, and shouting are common ways children show anger. The sibling rivalry may be intense, as well as taking their anger out on the adults responsible for them. Some children revert back to temper tantrums with kicking and screaming. They may say no to everything they are asked to do. Even the small problems or difficulties seem to be huge.
*Feeling anxious or worried
Some children are just natural worriers, while for others it is a definite change in their behavior. They may worry about performance at school, particularly before test. They worry whether or not they will have any friends, who might die next, when the next move will be, or if their parents are getting a divorce. Logical reasoning does little, if any, to alleviate the worries or anxiety of these children.
Many children have these feelings or do these things described above at times. If the problems begin shortly after a life transition or loss, or other stressful events, the child may need extra help. Getting help is important if the signs or symptoms you normally see in your child are more extreme or intense. If the issues last day after day, or week after week, with seemingly little improvement, professional help is probably needed. If you have tried to work with your child, but the problems continue, it would be wise to pursue professional help.
